today was okayish. going to school again cause break is over. tomorrow for my drama class we have to go over to a daycare to perform puppet shows that we had to put together and one of our group members wont be there cause hes sick so im kinda nervous. we had to try to improvise today and it did not. go well. apart from that classes are okay.

i am so unbelievably tired but i cant go to sleep early cause then ill probably wake up early. ive been up since like 3 pm yesterday i am not functioning well.

ill have time tomorrow and ill probably be less exhausted so i might make a new page for blog entries. if i do ill probably copy paste this there?

it is almost 2 am anyway i added and did a bunch of stuff on here im having so much fun (guy who is going to wake up at 2pm tomorrow). feeling significantly better than i was like 2 hours ago its so amazing how typing a buncha stuff makes me so much more happier. sounds silly when i put it into words but coding really is a lot of fun to me i always forget that. i want 2 kinda make this site into something bigger and less plain but idk what id do exactly.. i can figure this out later.

less happy now. one more day until 2025.. scary. i dont like the passage of time. im still Really missing summer 2023 so its like.. woah.. thats going to be 2 years ago eventually.. sometimes it feels like yesterday other times it was a billion years ago. i wish there was some form of time travel that could let me go back and reexperience 2023 even though that was probably one of the worst years of my life lol. unfortunately i only ever know how to feel sad all the time and start to miss when i felt Really awful. early november was shit and i already miss that. sometimes i think im incapable of ever truly wanting to get better. this entry did not go where i wanted it to if anyone i know ever finds this site im deleting the full thing

ive been having trouble falling asleep until like 4 or 5 in the morning. then i do sleep and i just wake up a bunch of times

i want to talk to people and i like talking to people but i feel so scared and awful after saying anything to anyone. sometimes i wish that i never had to actually interact with anyone but im not sure if being alone all the time would make me feel better or worse

i keep thinking to another site i made on here thats still up. i just made it to put photos but i never use it. i never really feel motivated to do anything with it and working on it feels like a chore. i feel bad in some way i guess for keeping it up if im never gonna use it but also i dont rly wanna delete it cause i know ill regret it later. weird

drew a good amount today. i started reading chobits too i think its pretty good

i miss summer 2023

i hung out with a friend yesterday. we played ddr and went to see sonic 3, it was fun. for the past couple of days its been misty/foggy and kinda warm so the snows melting and everything is slippery. walking to the theater was more anxiety inducing than it shouldve been i was scared id slip while crossing the road

i didnt do much today. i slept in until around 3:40. my family went out to eat around 5 but thats kinda it. i keep thinking back to around a year ago, whenever i was home id sleep basically until it was dark out and then just stay up all night. id stay up regardless of if i had anything going on actually. i only felt okay at night cause my parents were asleep and couldnt argue with eachother, and i wouldnt get interrupted while drawing or anything cause i was the only one awake. its been a while so it feels like i should be over everything that happened but sometimes its like. oh wow. i didnt tell anyone anything and i still havent, around then i only really talked to like one person anyway. whatever

really close to midnight as im writing this. christmas was okay, went over to my sisters house and spent a few hours there. i mostly just awkwardly sat in the living room. got a few sketchbooks and some markers as gifts which was cool. went home. i havent really done much of anything. was really tired today since i fell asleep around 4 am and then. had to get up early. still wont go to bed at a normal time tonight though

i have. been thinking about were all going to the worlds fair a lot. looked at some stuff online like interviews and other peoples thoughts, started reading interpretations and making my own.

p key on my laptop broke so i dont know how much editing ill do on there.. i kinda need that key. if it was like. k or e or some shit i wouldnt mind that much i could pull some homestuck typing quirk shit but how do i even do that for that letter. /> best i got idk man

okay final thing. im finally putting together a story line for a comic in my head rn. i think that as of this moment its kinda obvious that its inspired but i think i just need to flesh it out more so that its. more of its own thing

im always wanting to make projects that i know would be difficult like short films or visual novels or animations or whatever. i think if i had the motivation i could actually do it. lately my brain has been like. i need to make a comic series and a vn and a weird arg/found footage type thing but i dont think i really have the materials or time anyway. whatever. anyway today was okay. i finished watching evangelion, the last episode was confusing but i ttthink if i watch the movie itll make more sense? i gotta wait though me and my friends are planning to watch it together.

im on break now for christmas. the only thing well really be doing is going to my sisters house. seeing family is nice but its really awkward since i never actually talk to them. wont get to hide in my room this time. last time we went there for easter and i ended up standing in the kitchen corner for most of it cause i didnt know where else to go. whenever im in other peoples houses i feel like im intruding and need explicit permission to go anywhere or do anything. i dont really like going to unfamiliar places anyway. i guess ill get over it someday

one of my friends got us things 4 christmas and i ended up getting a car seat headrest cd. awesome... reminded me that i still need to make stuff 4 my friends to give to them. i wont be able to see them until after break probably so i have time. i should probably get started soon though

wanted to add this. i finally watched were all going to the worlds fair last night. ive been meaning to for a while, since i listened to the soundtrack first. i think that got my hopes up for it? it was an okay movie, had to use the most annoying site ever to watch it. i didnt fully understand the plot and it felt like it couldve been fleshed out more, some of the scenes are really good though. mostly i like the soundtrack, its really lovely and also by my favorite artist so why would i not love it

tired. havent been abl to sleep good since thanksgiving. today was pretty okay, nothing bad in any classes really. im confused in chemistry rn but im getting the hang of what were doing. sometimes the teacher doesnt really explain things in a way i understand so i have to end up looking it up. oh well. finished a comic i started yesterday, i dont really like how it turned out since its dialogue heavy and im not good at writing stuff but the art is okay.

finally made a list of shit i need to watch. i started neon genesis evangelion today, its really good i like it. ill probably be able to finish it by like friday. my friend reminded me of the movie machine girl so i Really want to see that since i love the band with the same name.

i keep drawing hetalia fanart on my history homework specifically i am so scared that the teacher will somehow recognize it

okay today. tired cause i havent been sleeping well but everything else was fine. watched a movie in chemistry cause our teacher didnt really wanna do anything and our class was ahead anyway. fucked around in web design and looked at different pages on w3schools. ended up on the page for c, it seems pretty cool. i wanna take a programming class at some point so i can make more dumb shit. i might be able to next semester if i switch out a class.. itd probably be drama. kinda scared to do that though cause i dont want my schedule to be fucked up and also all of my friends are taking drama and we have the same class. idk though. the teacher makes me kinda uncomfortable and sometimes when she talks to me it feels like shes talking to me like im a little kid. other classes were fine.. the tables in my study hall moved. i dont like it when they do that i cant sit in the corner when that happens.

made a little zine/comic thingy yesterday. showed it 2 my friends they thought it was cool. my one friend said that i should make the characters gay so i guess they are now.

planning to either watch pendas fen or missing skin tonight.. maybe both. or i could rewatch ginger snaps. there are so many things i need to watch but i gotta do it at night cause then i know i wont get interrupted. i need to finish things in like 1 sitting or im never finishing them. this isnt just movies btw im like this with art too. my brain moves fast so i want to do other things and end up not finishing things.. i was also like this with assignments at some point until grades started to actually really matter and i was failing 4 classes. back to watching stuff uhh i think petscop is really the only series ive managed to watch all the way through in multiple sittings it took me like 2 weeks to finish it. i dont think thatll ever happen again. im still not finished watching lain. its been 2 years.

today was kinda bleh. tired. cold. had to stand outside for 30 minutes. not much i remember or care enough about to write down i guess? i went to the library w 2 of my friends after school yesterday. theyre in this group thats supposed to be for younger queer people i think and told me i should come. we talked and made bracelets, i am now aware that there are queer adults i can talk to. we sat in the teen room for a bit and continued w bracelet making and talked to other people. one of the guys that works there knows a bunch of 'cringe' and obscure shit so we were talking to him about it and asking him if he knew stuff. he also recommended us some things it was cool. i uhh asked him if he knew what asscastle was and he said hes heard of it so now im scared to talk to him again. oh well. anyway afterwards we went to my one friends house cause it was close and we could walk, i ended up staying for dinner. we had curry and his parents make the best curry ever so yay !! went home and also went to bed early cause ive been insanely tired recently.

tbh i wish i could go to the library or just places in town in general more often. its a 10 minute drive to town and i cant drive and my parents are not willing to constantly drive me places. living far away is cool sometimes but also there is never anything to do out here. in summer i can go down to the lake and wander around at the school but thats like it. oh well.

a surprising amount of people know and use my preferred name now which is awesome cause a few years ago like nobody did. my old friends would Sometimes but that was it. it is really nice and people are also nice about it but my parents dont know and im scared theyre gonna hear people using my name and ask me about it. they try to be supportive but its ajfhdjrndjdhf.

i am so tired all of the time

i keep forgetting things and spacing out and cant sleep and aauaugjgjghhh. i feel awful and nauseous every day i hate it. i keep wanting to ask for help by like going to the guidance counselor or something cause im scared my mom will laugh at me but im too scared to tell anyone anything. i cant even tell my friends because im scared. i dont want to live like this or live in general but death is scary so i guess im stuck like this.

it was cold and snowing and i had to stand outside for 30 minutes today. i tried to wear warmer clothes cause i dont have a coat. managed to find things that were warm enough that i could layer. i hate winter so much.

im starting to have trouble understanding shit in some of my classes and im scared of failing. urgh.

trying to think of something good thats happened. ive beeb more motivated to draw recently, i watched a couple movies ive been meaning to last weekend. watched ginger snaps for the 2nd time, then video drome and the re-animator movies. video drome is pretty good but i uhh am scared to recommend it to people. i Really like reanimator its been one of the top things on my mind since i saw it. thats kinda all i got

thanksgiving was okay. hid in my room for most of it because i dont actually see my family a lot and talking to people i dont really know that well is awkward. have mostly been drawing, nothing i like enough to post anywhere though. i still havent finished watching lain, i get too distracted by other stuff. its hard for me to like. make myself sit down and watch a series. i need to constantly be doing something or i feel like ill explode, and if im doing something else while watching something i dont end up watching the thing. its stupid but. aaaaghghh

i hung out with a friend yesterday. we walked around town a little bit at first, mainly looking for places to buy cds. we went to the record store and the guy let us go in the back to look at the cds they had back there it was kinda cool. there was a life-size cutout of elvis presley back there. why was he there. we will never know. anyway we went back and over the course of like 4 hours tried (and failed) to write a song that we thought would be actually good, played ddr (which i am. so bad at.) and organized stuff on the shelves he had just put up. he showed me a couple things in his sketchbook (which smells so strongly of perfume that it gave both of us a headache. he said at some point that he couldnt work in it for more than 20 minutes i see why) and gave me 2 paintings he made. his art is really cool i like it

also watched videodrome the other day, ive been meaning to for a while but i keep forgetting about it. i think its really good. at some point about a year or two ago i watched a clip really close to the ending, and then the actual ending without realizing. i was kinda disappointed w myself once i realized that hey i know how this ends but its whatever.

i dont have much of anything else to write about. im planning on watching ginger snaps again after i finish this. school starts again on monday which im kind of really not happy about. it was really cold today i hated it. im gonna have to go back to waiting 15-30 minutes for the bus almost every day again. i should learn how to drive so i can actually get home before 4 and dont have to stand out there but thats kinda. scary. and also id have to drive down the highway every day and thats scarier. i already hate being in vehicles. there is no winning

i do have another thing actually. i mentioned neocities to my friend and he said he made a site on here, he couldnt remember the name though. ive been thinking about showing him my site but thats uhh. scary. idk im not sure if id want my friends to see some of the stuff on here. if i ever sent it to them i think id have to delete some blog entries. i also cleaned my room yesterday that happened. or at least a few parts of it. found a bunch of old art i dont remember making. there was so much dust. an absurd amount of dust.

didnt feel like much of anything today. my head hurts a little bit. feeling embarrassed over making stuff.

today was okay. day before break so we were finishing up stuff in like half of my classes, there were 2 where we kinda didn't do anything. bored as hell in web design cause im still way ahead so i started trying to teach myself javascript. started crying during 1st hour so i felt kinda gross and headachey for most of the day.. sucks. oh well. had a decent amount of time for drawing so theres that. also never ended up presenting that history thing and today was the last day so im not getting a good grade on that assignment

some of my family is coming over for thanksgiving so thats yay. i havent seen them in a while. last year we didnt do anything for thanksgiving cause both of my parents got really sick, kinda happy were actually able to do stuff this year.

planning on finishing watching lain cause my friend was telling me to at lunch today. ill probably be able to continue where i left off this time cause i remember a decent amount of stuff.. ill probably rewatch it once i finish it. theres a night in the woods playthrough ive been meaning to finish too. playing the actual game would be fun but umm i am broke. i think i end up talking about stuff im planning on watching in these entries half the time.

ive been having dreams that feel insanely real and then when i wake up i have to sit and think for a bit like. did this actually happen or is my brain being weird. its harder to tell real things from fake things lately. shouldnt matter that much i guess but it freaks me out sometimes

i thought i was done writing this entry i guess not. i keep thinking back to this part from a vn i played a little bit ago. one of the characters is talking about how she feels awful a lot of the time, the other asks her something like "do you really feel that bad all the time". for some reason it makes me think. oh wow. do i feel that bad all the time. do i need to. i feel like i always need to be feeling awful if i ever want my problems to be taken seriously

was cold out today so i mostly stayed inside. charged my dsi and went through old pictures. played on this weird lps gamecard that i used to really like while listening to albums from old emo bands. felt kinda bleh for the later part of the day.

planning on watching the 3rd ginger snaps movie in a little bit. after i watched the second one i went online to go read stuff other people wrote about the series and it looks like most people hate the 3rd one. and if they like it they hate one/both of the other 2. scared im not gonna like it but idk. also apparently it takes place in the 19th century? which is confusing to me because the other 2 are very obviously not in the 19th century.. whatever. also wanting to go find this weird, kinda short russian movie i watched a few times about a year ago. i remember really liking it and want to see it again. should also probably get around to watching the stuff my friends keep telling me to get into. most of them are series so ill have to find time to check them out at least. series are harder to watch for me idk if ill be able to finish them, i always get distracted and forget about them. ive been trying to watch serial experiments lain for like 2 years and havent made it past episode 5 because i keep forgetting about it and then when i remember it i've forgotten most of what happened and have to restart. endless cycle

will only have to go to school 2 days this week because of break. i think were mostly just gonna be finishing up stuff. i dont really know what im gonna do for my history presentation, but i only have those 2 days to present it because after that were gonna be moving to something else.

today was okay. i was stressed about a few things which was bleh but otherwise nothing bad happened.

got first in a weird game thingy in chemistry and got a pack of gum which was awesome. fucked around with animations in web design. turned in my final english essay. had 2 tests in geometry and did pretty good on them. in history, were still on presentations and i dont do well when it comes to presenting things so i was worried the entire time that i'd have to go up and do my slideshow, but i didnt have to today. at the end of class my teacher pulled me aside and asked if i was actually comfortable presenting, to which i said no, so now im gonna have to find a way to present to. a smaller group so i can still get the points for it. scary

spent some time today working on my stupid comic/zine. i finished it during lunch and showed it 2 my friends, they seemed to think it was funny which is yay. i also showed it to the guy that talks to me sometimes while we were waiting for our buses, he said it was cool and walked away right after which was. kinda scary.

got a seat to myself on the bus. also got new earbuds cause my other ones were barely working. family went out to dinner. drew a lot today

in a good mood today which makes me feel scared that ill feel awful tomorrow because thats usually what happens

it snowed today

we were supposed to perform our monologues in drama but we ended up practicing for the entire hour. we also had a peer review on our essays for english.. scary. someone drew a thumbs up on my paper i feel honored. we also started presenting in history today except i didnt go up cause i was scared so now i have to tomorrow. too much to do with showing other people things right now..

trying to think of other things. i spent like half of my free time today working on a little zine/comic thingy. i might put it on here when im done idk. i have a math test tomorrow.. final essay is due.

it was raining while i was waiting for my bus which sucked but i got a seat to myself which was cool. worked on a drawing. my headphones started breaking

today was kinda eh. got back the results for a test in chemistry and i got 32/36 which is a lot better than i thought i did. i had another test in history which was kinda stressful because i wasnt sure how to answer stuff and there was like 3 pages and we didnt have that long to take it.

it started snowing while i was waiting for the bus. it didnt stick but it was cold. walked around and listened to car seat headrest. got a seat 2 myself on the bus

ive been really tired recently. ive been going to bed at 11 instead of staying up drawing. i dont have a lot of energy or ideas for art which really sucks.

i hate the cold

i did end up watching ginger snaps and oh my god. the movie ever. i want to dress like brigitte fitzgerald. i immediately recognized a couple lines that were in machine girl songs i think that might say something about me

today was okay. was feeling artblocked which makes me feel bleh cause most of what i do is draw. i listened to modest mouse albums and then went on a walk because i thought the temperature would be okay-ish. it was cold And windy it was not okay-ish. my camera died so i went back home a little earlier than i wouldve liked to go charge it, ended up being a good thing because by the time i got back i was freezing. charged camera, drew and colored a few things. got up at like 10 instead of 2 so i had more time to do stuff. planning on watching ginger snaps 2 after i finish typing this.

nothing else happened that i really remember. i guess i remembered a few dreams i had when i woke up and was able to write them down, that doesn't happen super often. usually i forget immediately or i don't even know how to describe them. its weird to me because a year ago i was able to remember most of them. feels like im forgetting more things more often now, not just dream related stuff. feels weird. i dont like not remembering things

i wear a necklace so often to the point where i feel really weird if i dont have one on

today was. okayish i guess. in second hour chemistry we had a test, which would have been fine if i had actually felt like i learned anything that was on there. ended up crying and eventually the teacher came over and was like "hey this isnt that important you dont need to do this right now" and kinda. snatched my test. i guess it didnt matter cause i wasn't finishing it today anyway. ill have to do that monday. anyway afterwards i got a headache that got progressively worse throughout the day which was. awful. had 2 other tests but they were easy.. one for web design and then another for math which felt easy but i was also the first one to finish which makes me nervous.. when i was in younger grades and we had to take tests, state ones specifically, they told us that if we finished really quick then we should go back and review, and that people usually end up not getting good scores if they didnt. that kinda ended up getting engraved into my brain as "if you finish really early then you probably failed". its whatever i guess

its friday so i actually feel like i can do stuff tonight. going 2 watch ginger snaps and then try to play through hello girl.. these are the 2 things that have been occupying my mind for most of today. specifically ginger snaps i remembered that machine girl made a bunch of references to it and then got curious. also an artist i like made fanart and i thought it looked cool.. same thing happened w hello girl. i only know it because an artist i really like made fanart and also talked about it in a few blog posts. always worried that i wont like things that look nice but theres kinda only one way to find out if i really will

yesterday when i was talking to my old teacher, i brought up how i was taking a web class and that i ended up coding a bunch of shit when i was bored. he brought up this one site he was using to learn code an email. said email was also replying to one of the just for fun site things i've made. he sent a paragraph back which i kinda didn't expect but he also said he was proud of me and my brain has been sticking on that. im not super used to hearing that

i should pprrrobably stop typing So much in these but i also kinda don't believe that people actually read them. especially since most of them are me being stupid

i feel rly tired

today was okay i think. it was gross and rainy again. theres this charter school by my house that i used to go to, i went there for a little bit of elementary and then 8th grade but i mostly remember 8th grade. they have these project nights where the kids in whatever grades present things theyve made and anyone can go so me and my friends usually go there. last year whenever i went the only people whod really notice me there were my friends and sometimes their younger siblings

this time a lot of the teachers ive had talked to me. i was waiting for like 20 minutes awkwardly wandering around cause my friends were taking a while to get there and i didnt quite know where to go. i just got hit with like. a wave of nostalgia going up the staircase. felt weird walking through the hallways. when my friends did get there we found where we were supposed to go. both of my 8th grade teachers were there, one had to leave early cause his kid (whos like. 3) had to go to bed, it was nice talking to him. ended up mostly talking to the other teacher, towards the end when the actual presenting thingy was over he let us go to his classroom to let us hang out for a little bit. he moved to a different classroom, which used to be the other teachers room but he also. kinda moved. we were messing with the shit on his desk and drawing on the whiteboard. i wrote "highschool bad" and he scolded me it was kinda funny. it felt like 8th grade again. i really miss it even though i wasnt exactly happy. i dont know if things are better or worse right now

a lot of stuff at that school changed since i left there which is. yeah. but i dont like it. everything looked and felt so much smaller. i think that was the one school ive went to where i really felt comfortable. i didnt get called slurs there at least. i dont know. remembering a lot of stuff vividly and really missing everything.

i feel. upset and not good in general.

i slept in until like 2 again so that was bleh. stayed up late again doing shit. i ended up playing 2 of the vns- they were really short, probably took me 20 minutes to get through the longest one? i think my favorite one that i found was your wings my wings. very pretty and the characters are cool.. one of them is a lot like me and i am. not sure how to feel about that.

listened to music and drew for a lot of today as usual. it was gross and rainy again so i couldn't really go outside. whatever it was a little cold anyway. the sun is setting earlier, i don't like it. after i get home from school theres a little less than an hour of sunlight left. during the winter most of my being-outside is when i'm waiting for the bus after school.. it takes about 15 minutes on a regular day and 30 on early release. my school is kinda weird and we get let out early on wednesdays so each week i get to sit out there for. 30 minutes. its gonna be awful when it starts dropping below like 30 and theres snow on the ground. eugh

school tomorrow. they should make weekends longer.

had an okay day. stayed up last night until about 2 am just drawing. tired but drawing is fun. got out of bed at around 2pm.. not proud of myself for that. immediately went somewhere- i had the choice to not go and wasn't really. expected to come along but i did.

finally played a visual novel that i've wanted to check out for a while. it was free and was pretty short but it was. interesting. i liked it. vn is allknowing idol jesus, i really love the creators artstyle. he has a few comics that are pretty good. have also been downloading other vns cause im bored as hell. found a handful, they'll probably keep me busy for a bit.

listened to one of teen suicides albums last night. i had listened to a few of their songs before and have liked them for a while so i thought i should finally check out the rest of their music. i like it a lot.

final thing ill probably type.. for the past few days my main thoughts have been. i Need to make detailed art. i Need to make a comic. mostly wanting to do digital stuff. i want to mess around more with colors and rendering/shading. i really should practice anatomy a bit more.. i usually go off of existing knowledge and what i see in real people and in other's art. i havent genuinely studied or practiced in like. over a year now. i guess it doesn't matter esp since im a teenager and have a shit ton of time to improve but this is kind of all i've got going for me. its not something i'd want to turn into a job though.. once i Have to make art or somebody wants me to its like. oh wow. this feels like a chore i hate this (guy who keeps taking art classes). whatever. i think i derailed from my original train of thought a bit. oh well. still on futurewhatever stuff i could prrobably go the science route i like science stuff. i have time to think about it

okayfinal thing. my brain has also felt really jumbled for the past. over a year but its getting worse iii dont know. my brain has been rly loud recently i dont like it.

was okayish for a good amount of today despite certain events. i hate people so much. my head hurts and i keep spacing out.

theres this guy at school who talks to me sometimes and has been sitting at the table me and my friends normally sit at. was starting 2 be okay with him but hes a trump supporter and has weird opinions on trans people.. me n my friends are all queer and trans in some way so its like wow do i really feel safe around you. i dont.

should make something self indulgent that i can use for escapism purposes.. there is a story i have that was originally for that but i got embarrassed and changed it up. whatever ill make it more like how it originally was. too scared of death to kill myself for now i will retreat to the place in my mind instead

have felt weird these past few days. mightbe getting sick buut idk. everything feels weird. could be seasonal whatever. i dont know. life feels different and i feel awful all the time. i mean i did before but its worse now. oh well.

today was okay. i feel kinda sick rn and have a headache but for the most part im feeling fine. classes were okay... i didnt get to draw as much as yesterday. progressing in my web design lessons even though i kinda dont need to since im a unit ahead. i can only ever code cool stuff at school everything i make outside of it is so lamee.

gross and rainy again today so that sucked. was warm and not snowing so i guess i should be happy about that. im really not excited for winter, especially since everything got so awful last year. scared that everything is gonna go to shit again. im getting bad again so its. idk.

thinking about starting a comic so i have an excuse to draw my characters a billion times. not sure what i would do for it though.

7:35 pm- urgh. was feeling alright for a bit and now i feel weird and lightheaded and awful. i feel dizzy. i think i should go to bed early tonight

headachey and nauseous all day. was feeling good for a little bit after i got home but. idk.
band i like released a new ep.. listening as i type. its good i like it. i can barely understand it though its in russian and im kinda rusty with the little bit i know. whatever.

i drew a lot today, happy w how some of it turned out. were doing a makeup unit in my drama class and are currently working on aging. got to make my friend look old except i am. kind of really bad at makeup so it looked awful.. they made it Very clear that they did not like it. i thought it was kinda funny.

was warm out today, which wouldve been nice if it wasnt gross and rainy. time change happened so it was light on the ride to school and getting dark on the ride back.

running through what happened in my brain umm. i felt kinda awful today. brain was loud and jumbled and i couldnt focus on anything and i kept running into people in the hallways. felt on the verge of puking for most of today. still do. i stayed up until like 3 am last night and now im tired. i think thats all i got.. trying to write blog entries more often.

urk. forever unhappy with what i make. wish my brain wasnt weird and jumbled half the time.

i really miss how things were a year ago

first official blog post... woah... i remember originally making this site to have art comics etc whatever i think im just. going to keep it to blog posts. as of typing i still need to link this on the main page. i forgot the password for a while it kinda sucked i really missed working on this. or maybee i just miss the time period ive been thinking about like. a year ago a lot. its whatever